Yesterday’s entry was all about how you are genetically wired to be more attracted to the guy who gladly picks up the check. Today there are other points to ponder …

by Simone Kornfeld


There is a difference between being broke and being cheap. Drawers of gold couldn’t save miserly Scrooge from a cold empty life. Yet Tiny Tim was broke as a church mouse and still managed to keep his heart rich with love and warmth. Perhaps your guy doesn’t have a pot to piss in, but he is brimming with GENEROSITY OF SPIRIT. How he handles his poverty is what counts. Maybe he can’t take you to Per Se, but whips up a meal fit for a queen with the contents of his almost bare cupboards. He may not be able to buy a magnum of Veuve, but makes a fun game of collecting pennies from the couch cushions to afford a mug of hard cider. No trip to San Tropez for the holidays, instead he proposes you collaborate to create the ultimate staycation. His attitude about his situation, and his determination to give regardless, make up for any and all monetary lacks. Your attitude counts tremendously as well. Gold-diggers only get so far in this life before being visited by the proverbial “ghosts of Christmas past.” If you sit there like a mega-bitch with your arms crossed when the check arrives you are essentially objectifying him for the contents of his wallet, and your life will one day become as meaningless as Ebenezer’s. So make the gesture to contribute. Your gesture is a sign that you respect the fact that partridges in pear trees don’t come for free and he has worked for this offering. Be genuinely gracious and grateful. Appreciate the gift he’s giving and verbalize your thanks. Since tis the season for giving, think about how you can give back to him. For instance, say he’s taking you for filet mignon at the most iconic steakhouse in the village. What a nice gift! So to give back make sure to shower, rouge your cheeks, wave your locks, and don your gay apparel. During appetizers listen to your date discuss his latest business venture with all ears while backing him with your whole heart. Give him the gift of your attention, beauty, wisdom and support. We all give in different ways. Your offer to organize his closet, bake a homemade stollen or give a little sensual massage before his workday is as valuable and significant as his gift of coin.  Finding balance in your contributions to the union will create mutual satisfaction and that means less coal in your stocking and more time under the mistletoe. So after all of this, let's come home to the original question. Dear reader, if you feel your date's tightwad ways are a symptom of his Scrooge-like personality, cut your losses and search for a man more spirited with generosity. Though if he's saving his pennies because he spent the last two years building timber lodges for foster kids in Kiev and is in financial transition, perhaps he is indeed a keeper. Suss out the situation and make an informed decision.