I'm a college student and I met this girl through a group of friends. She liked me first actually and I decided to pursue her. I've been to her house, tried to kiss her (fail), took her on a date as well. I've kind of been distant towards her at school and I don't text her anymore. Of course she doesn't text me either. I really like this girl and I feel like somewhere along the line she used to like me a lot too. What can I do to show her that I'm the one who she should be paying attention to?
Thank you for your question. Your sincerity and honesty are so lovely.
This seems to be a case of miscommunication, or lack of communication. Somewhere, somehow the wires between you and this girl got crossed.
We’re curious to know what happened with the failed kiss. Did she flat out turn her head, was she caught unexpectedly, does she need to take things more slowly? If you felt rejected after your make-out attempt, It makes sense that you would distance yourself. Although by avoiding her she most likely assumes that you are not interested, that she disappointed you or you’ve moved on - and she’s avoiding you as a result.
To get the information you need, we say push the moment to its crisis. An in-person conversation or phone call are best. Texting is too ambiguous and leaves too much room for misinterpretation. Call her up and tell her you’d like to start over. Let her know you think she’s great and would love to spend some time together. Then suggest a time and place (be specific) to meet for a drink. Something along the lines of “How about a drink this Thursday at Clive’s Tavern?”
Yes, we know this can be scary. But that’s precisely why it’s so sexy when men do it! A bold, upfront action shows you’ve got balls. It’s confident, and therefore highly appealing. You’re not pussyfooting around, waiting for a sign of affection. You’re putting yourself on the line because you’ve got courage, self-confidence and hootzpah! HOT.
And if she doesn’t go for it, forget her. Don’t waste your love, your precious thoughts and your fantastic energy on someone who isn’t in a place to receive it. Let her go. You will have done everything you possibly could and can then walk away with no regrets. This is a life well lived. Whether or not you “get what you want” in the moment, the bigger purpose is to live by your principles of honesty, courage and love. This is what makes you a totally awesome guy now and will help you continue to develop into a totally awesome man.
So, make a move and get the information. You’ll either shift to the next level with this girl or be freed up to move on to someone else.
Write us in the comments and let us know what happens!! We can’t wait to hear.