The other night I was flirting with a guy I could tell was really into me. But he just couldn’t seem to pull the trigger and ask for my number. I didn’t want to ask for his, and my friends were about to leave the bar. What can I do that will give a guy the green light?

by Simone Kornfeld


Men easily fluster (and even freeze) when caught in the glow of an intriguing female. They’re not necessarily as adept at reading your signs of interest as you might assume, and can second-guess them selves into silence at just the moment when you’re hoping they’ll speak up and ask you out. Though we do understand asking can be scary, we don’t always want to do all the work making the first date happen. Sometimes it’s just sexier when the guy mans up and puts the gears in motion. Yet if it seems he’s not going to make the next move, action must be taken so you don’t leave the bar disappointed by your missed connection. A little nudge is probably all he needs to take the wheel and put it in drive. Try saying something like “You know, my friends and I are about to head out, but if you were to ask me for my number, I’d give it to you.” Or, “I gotta go but if you want some company at that cello concert, I happen to be free Thursday night.” Give him confidence that he won’t be rejected and then let him make the next move. If he doesn’t take the lead after a statement like that, he’s either seriously dimwitted or actually unavailable. But most likely your gentle push will send him searching his pockets for his phone, and triple-checking that he’s got your digits right.