So I just started seeing this guy and he's great but he's starting to bald. He has beautiful eyes and he's super cool. But I'm hung up on the balding thing. Am I being totally superficial and ridiculous?

by Simone Kornfeld


Interesting quandary: good man, balding head. What to do? There are many dimensions to this question, some animal, some cultural, some commercial. Let's start with animal. We are aging. It's a fact. Your skin is changing texture; that which used to be perked heavenward is now drooping downward; the rogue white eyebrow is sprouting; you don't bounce back from a night binge drinking nearly as quickly. You are aging. We are aging. And your new beau is aging too. Media and commercial engines take major advantage of this to try to make more money off of us: wash the gray away! Tighten that loose skin! Take these hormones to trick your body into thinking it's 20 again! Youth youth youth!!! Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa. It is not uncommon to get more than a little brainwashed by these shaming messages. But that doesn’t make them right or true. This is the Smitten perspective: your guy is balding? SO WHAT! Guys bald. All the time. It doesn't make them any less virile (we know from experience). Nor does it make them less sexy. In fact, a guy who is balding and shamelessly owns it is extra hot. Not only is he balding, but he's rocking it—not taking creepy drugs to fake that he's got hairier DNA or spray-painting his bald spot brown. Just like you are extra hot when you don't roll over for a brand that's feasting on your insecurities, he’s hot for being himself instead of trying to fake the world out.

One other point in support of baldness is that it's often accompanied by an extra measure of humility. When any of us have to work with a physical challenge or "imperfection" we have two options: to reject/deny/spend tons of cash trying to fix it, OR to say screw it and embrace our natural self. Option two tends to make us more conscious, compassionate, self-realized souls and that’s timelessly, agelessly sexy.

So we recommend that you use this opportunity to take a look in the relationship mirror and get real about how your new guy's smooth tête might be highlighting some of your own brainwashed "ideals". Would you rather him take crazy toxic chemicals to fake like he's got more hair? We doubt it. Do you want to be accepted and loved through all the ways that your body changes over time? Of course you do. So unwash your brain and pay more attention to what's beneath the surface of his skin than the skin itself. And if you ultimately just can't accept him, send him our way. He sounds like a great catch…