I really love your book, but you guys talk a lot about sexiness and being sexy, and I have trouble relating. I live in the burbs, I'm not bad looking, I love my group of friends and I've definitely had fun times in the bedroom. "Sexy" just isn't a word I'd use to describe myself or my life. Am I missing something?
Since you vibe with our book, we’re sure you’ve picked up on the fact that in the Smitten lifestyle, flirting is no cheap trick—it's an art form. Being a brilliant flirt means that we are vibrantly alive, atypically real and not afraid to interact with the world on this radical wavelength. When we talk about being sexy, feeling sexy, or living sexy we are referring to this wavelength. When you are dialed in to the texture of life, when you are tuned in to the sensations in your body, when you potently greet each moment with authenticity—that is what's sexy to us. Which could look like all kinds of things: A sexy moment could be stepping out onto a rocky beach in Maine and taking a deep breath of sharp ocean air, or saying something so utterly true while arguing with your lover that you crumble to the floor weeping, or rescuing a feral kitten and pouring your heart into taming her so she can finally know a good home.
As far as we're concerned, sexiness translates to aliveness. And when we feel vibrantly alive we are totally turned on, and life is just so damn sexy. On the flip side, unsexiness is dullness, apathy, denial or avoidance of what's really happening. It's living a half-ass life by finding ways to check out, give up or play the victim.
This moment, right now, could be insanely sexy. Feel the heat in your body, the beat of your heart, the depth of your strongest lingering emotion. Look around and find something poetically striking about your environment. Take it in. Experience the fullness of your life, in all its complexity, right now. Let all the sensorial aspects of this one moment climax in the light of your attention. That's what we mean by sexy. You feelin’ our flow?