I’ve been on a few dates with this guy that I like... we’ve been texting… but I can’t tell if he’s into me and I feel like we’re in no man’s land. I want to know what’s going on. What do I say?

by Simone Kornfeld


Here’s your next move: communicate clearly. In other words, as Smitten teaches, be real. Be open about where you’re at, and find out where he’s at. Which might look like this: “Hey Ted, thanks for taking me to that Bavarian restaurant last Tuesday, who knew Schwinschaxe was so delicious? Anyway, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few weeks and I’d love to hear where you’re at with us…” Don’t try to manipulate him into giving the answer you want, just openly ask how he’s feeling. Sure, it can be scary to ask for clear information, but it’s the surest route out of the frustration of no man’s land. Following your clear communication, one of three things will happen: 1) He will say that he’s loving getting to know you too, not interested in smooching anyone else. 2) He will say he’s enjoying dating you but feeling pretty casual, not interested in a big commitment right now. 3) He will admit that he’s presently dating four other women and then act shocked when you gasp in surprise. No matter which happens, all of it is GOOD INFORMATION. As a self-realizing woman you are equipped to listen to the answer, and make a wise choice based on what genuinely works for you. No matter how temporarily disappointing, it is always better to live in the light of truth. So communicate clearly. When your heart needs answers, go get them.