I just moved into a new neighborhood and have no friends close by. I want to go out, but I have no one to go with. What do I do?

by Simone Kornfeld


Go out anyway! Slaughter the stigma about going out alone. Bury it, burn it, tie it to a rock and drown it at the bottom of your sea of independence. Going out alone can be highly enjoyable, if you decide to make it that way. For starters, you rarely have to wait in line to get in places when you’re a single. You get tons of attention because you are open and available to connect. It saves you from having to manage your friend’s envy when you get absorbed in a conversation with the gorgeous visiting Spaniard on the next stool over. You can go anywhere, do anything, begin or end the night whenever and however you want. You choose your own adventure at every turn. It’s total freedom! Plus hitting the streets solo shows the world you’ve got solid gold confidence and there’s nothing sexier than that. Following are some tips to pump up the volume on your solo adventuring. First, pick a local bar that pleases you and keep going back. You’ll get to know the bartenders and regulars and pretty soon it will be the place where everybody knows your name.  Second, work the space. Go play a game of pool and chat it up with your opponents. Put your favorite songs on the jukebox and inspire an epic sing-along (Whitesnake anyone?). Talk to every man, woman and child who rolls up and strikes your fancy. Emphasize the party in your party of one. And when you’ve got no one to chat with, fret not! Work on your home improvements to-do list, slow dance with your gin & tonic or make a meditation out of sitting on your stool and being fully present in the moment with no idea what will come next.

Most importantly, be open about being there alone. When people ask whom you’re with, don’t fib and say your friends just left. Instead tell the truth and say, “Myself.” If they raise an eyebrow say “I just moved into the hood and don’t know many people here. Going out alone is a hell of a lot better than sitting home alone on my couch, don’t you agree?” However the conversation proceeds, do not feel ashamed of your ballsy choice. No one will challenge you. In fact they should and will buy you a drink for doing your part to help free all of humankind from the stupid, stinky stigma of singledom.