How do I keep my relationship alive while we live hundreds of miles apart?

by Simone Kornfeld


In the world of Smitten we prefer to look at life’s challenges as golden opportunities, and not as reasons to be completely bummed out. At first glance, it might seem less-than-ideal to live hundreds of miles from your mate. But actually, this is an excellent opportunity to creatively shape your relationship. When we live with our guy, or he lives three blocks away, it’s easy to take your time together for granted and lose the sexy longing that leads to tight passionate embraces and deep meaningful smooch-sessions. On the other hand, if you see each other too irregularly, the distance can cause disconnect and insecurity in the relationship. So the long-distance relationship requires creative planning, monetary investment, and ultimately a plan to live in the same area in the not-too-distant future. As a self-realizing woman you must get clear on your numbers and figures. Realistically, how much physical time a month do you need to feel the love? How many Skype, Facetime, phone calls, and texts do you require in order to keep a continuous flow of connection? Make a plan for connecting through these forms, and stick to it. And when you do Skype/talk/text don’t just complain about how much you miss each other. Take your tops off for the Skype session! Ask him meaningful questions on the phone about his experiences overseas. Send him beautiful images from your far-off life. Give purposefully and sensually through technology.

Lastly, make plans and invest money into seeing each other regularly. Though this takes concerted effort, it can be wonderfully fun. Instead of just crashing at the others’ apartment, meet halfway and spend the weekend at a funky motel nestled in the sandy hills of a nameless ghost town. Use your credit card points to book the penthouse suite in a glittery city and lock yourself in with a case of champagne and a jar of organic coconut oil. Explore your mutual fascination with geodes by camping near a live volcano. Use your long-distance status to be more creative and thoughtful in shared time. And while you’re laying in your sleeping bags, gazing into each others' loving eyes, you can rejoice in the fact that by this time next year you’ll finally be happily settled in the same city.