10 Tried and True Things To Do While Waiting for Him to Text Back

by Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld


So you made the brave move - texted the dude - and now you can't stop obsessing over your phone, wondering if/when he's gonna hit you back. We know how you're feeling: jittery, anxious, maybe even a little loose in the bowels. Awesome! You're alive and this moment is teeming with excitement! But we don't want you to have a panic attack or sink into a vortex of abandonment issues while playing the waiting game. So the following are some of Ariel and Simone's tried-and-true ways to handle the silent space before you get a response.

1. Ariel: Scrub the Kitchen Floor - The manic energy that comes with sending the guy I like a text can be very positively put to use on the tiles of my kitchen floor. When else would I be obsessive enough to toothbrush the cracks? Never. Scrub it out til your phone goes "bing!"

2. Simone: Drink Tequilla - Some might think this strange advice coming from a psychotherapist, but the fact is tequilla makes you forget pretty much everything. Every mind-altering substance has its time and place, and what better time to take advantage of this medicinal Mexican liquid? Conscious ignorance can be a real bliss. I like the mini bottles of Patron. Soak off the label afterwards and they make great bud vases!

3. Ariel: Pull a Tarot Card - I may be a yoga teacher but I’m not one to trust any old mystical tricks. However, the Tarot cards are the real deal. When I'm nervous about a dude’s reply and pull a card on the essence of the relationship, the Tarot ALWAYS gives me solid insight. Sometimes it's not all sunshine and kittens - the Devil card has come up more times than I care to admit. But I can count on the Tarot to point out hidden aspects of the dynamic and get me real again. Getting real soothes the heart and soul, always.

4. Simone: Masturbate - When you’re too in your head, it’s a good idea to drop back into your body. Self-pleasuring with a little coconut oil is the perfect way. If you’re fantasizing about the guy while in the act, this will send positive loving sexy vibes into the universe.  He’ll most likely pick up on your wavelength and the phone will blow up before you even finish. 

5. Ariel: Put on House Music and Work My Core - Clearly, one of the main reasons I texted him is because he's super sexy. And I want to be sexy with him. So with the post-text adrenaline it feels amazing to blast house music with a wall-quaking beat and do every single core exercise I know. Both connecting to my power center, and prepping my bod for my next lingerie-clad encounter. Two birds ladies... two birds with one text. Sorry neighbors.

6. Simone: Thrift Shopping - Even if you are impulse buying, you can’t do too much damage in a place where cashmere costs $9.99. Plus, thrift stores provide the thrill of the hunt. You’ve got to do some sifting to find a gem, which is my forte. The local Goodwill is my fave. I found the cutest velvet floral jacket the other day while waiting for my latest dude’s response. Thank you latest dude! I’ll wear it for you! 

7. Ariel: Make a Stylish Date with One of My Girlfriends - Another reason I texted is because I’m craving a cinematic escapade in the city that never sleeps. So if it doesn’t pan out will I be deprived of my desired adventure? No way. Not if I message one of my girls and plan a dazzling night out. This way I'm not dependent on him for an epic evening. I've got one lined up already... He's just frosting on my already satisfying cake. 

8. Simone: Kiss a Rando - It is not healthy to spend too much time feeling deprived of sexy attention. Trust me, I’m a professional. So when I’m waiting around like a lump on a log, I just walk out my front door and go find someone else to make out with. In this city, it’s never hard. As Ariel can attest, I’ve got countless stories from men I’ve met while just walking down the street. Plus it’s really tough to check your inbox when you’ve got some guy’s tongue in your ear. 

9. Ariel: Keep Building My Empire - We're well into the age of women's lib, but when caught in the throes of a fresh romance I still sometimes get haunted by the thought that I need the guy to "save" me. It's like all the ghosts of my female ancestors wake up and start hovering around my smartphone. When those old broads are wringing their ghostly hands I know it's time to kick my inner damsel in the ass and work on my empire. Shoot a bold email to a new contact, design a fresh workshop, write an article... Take life by the balls and erect another turret. Gosh the view is nice from up here!

10. Simone: Glitter Shells - Getting crafty puts you in touch with the part of you that doesn’t give a hoot about the game of love and doesn’t even know what a text is. Yes it may have been eons ago, but the child inside never feels disconnected from love because she is love. Don’t ever forget who you are and where you’ve come from. Get out the glitter and glue and nurture the child, the goddess, the woman and the creative human you are. 

 

Originally printed on SheKnows.com:

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1052393/things-you-should-do-while-waiting-for-a-guy-to-text-you-back


Racked: How to Dress Like a Brillant Flirt This Weekend

by Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld


This Article Originally Appeared On Racked.com 

edith hart 8
edith hart 8

Recently, the authors of Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt stopped by Bucktown's Edith Hart boutique to spread their lash-batting gospel to the ladies of Chicago. Authors Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld helped customers find the ultimate looks for summery date nights. And in case you missed it, we got a few snaps of the flirty looks. Take a peek at the gallery below, and check out the links for buying info.

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edith hart 1

Smitten authors Simone Kornfeld and Ariel Kiley wear Wildfox's Cassidy tanks, $71 each.

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edith hart 9

By Keepsake the Label, this Begin Again top, $135, has a romantic-but-relaxed style. Pair it with the Elise chiffon skirt, $66, and the C/Fan green envelope clutch, on sale for $50.

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edith hart 2
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edith hart 4

Simone gets hoop-y in mixed-metal hoop earrings, $42

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edith hart 5

By Honey Punch, this cute Floral Ruffle Romper is just $52

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edith hart 6

For another cute floral look, try slip on Tigerlilly's Renaissance Floral onesie(left), $198

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edith hart 7

Simone sports Paper Crown's Pier Skirt, $194. The sunset hues make this perfect for sunset cocktails, right?


Zoosk: 3 Ways To Make Him Smitten on the First Date

by Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld


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gettyimages.com

This Article Originally Appeared On Zoozk.com

Looking forward to meeting your favorite match for dinner and drinks? Dazzle him with your confidence and self awareness. Although you have everything you need to make the best impression, the authors of Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt, have 3 Secrets that will help you make the most memorable first date imaginable.

1) Be Decisive and Upstanding

Whenever we ask our male cohorts what they think the sexiest attribute in a woman is, they always say the same thing–confidence. Let your confidence show by conveying what you want. Don’t expect the man to make all the date decisions, saying “I don’t know” when you really do. Don’t try squeezing yourself into an agreeable ball of mush. Agreeable balls of mush don’t make solid first impressions. Stand out by carrying yourself with confidence–this means making clear decisions and behaving with integrity.

If you want to make him truly smitten with you, show your confidence by suggesting a great sushi spot, looking him in the eye as he picks up the check, assertively going in for a smooch, or sending a sweet thank-you text in the morning. Remember, do this regardless of whether your date responds in kind. Always uphold your social standards of grace and integrity.

2) Be Completely Present with Him

Get to know the real live three-dimensional man in front of you. Don’t let yourself obsess about whether or not he likes you. Instead, focus on him. If you want to leave a lasting impression, earnestly connect with your date. When you look at him, don’t just superficially evaluate him for his breeder-potential, really see him.

When beginning to converse, stay away from the usual topics. Instead, ask a quirky question to inspire a personal response. When he answers, really listen to the nuances of the response instead of just giggling and agreeing. Don’t just spend the evening evaluating how he measures up to your needs, beliefs, hopes, and wishes.

3) Express your Enthusiasm

Step it up a notch by not just showing your enthusiasm for the environment, but also your excitement for him. So many women tell us they are fearful of doing this because they want to seem “cool” and “unaffected”. Boring. To be able to say “I’m having so much fun on this date, I’m so glad we met” or “You’re so uniquely intelligent – it’s really attractive,” takes courage and shows real confidence. You’re not waiting to be “liked” first. You don’t need his approval to reveal how you feel. Having this level of confidence is damn sexy. And very rare.

To make him smitten, you must bring yourself fully: your integrity, your clarity, your curiosity, your enthusiasm, and your joy. Don’t wait to see what he seems to like or dislike and then adjust. Show your true self. If he’s not a fan, forget him; he’s not your guy. Don’t force it. Instead, continue living your awesome life, perusing profiles and setting up the next date with the guy who is.